Much of America suffers from marital amnesia, not forgetting to whom they are married, but forgetting what marriage is in the first place. Before you can have a conversation about creating a concept called "same-sex marriage," first you must define what marriage is. A lifelong covenant between a man and a woman for the good of the spouses and the procreation and formation of new life in children.

Why? Science and faith come together to support this definition for the good of children and for the good of a healthy, stable society.

Biology - The science is simple: new life can only be created by the union of a man and a woman

Anatomy - Very simply, the parts must fit

History - For 6000 years, virtually every society and culture has recognized this definition of marriage

Sociology - Social science consistently demonstrates that children thrive best in a home with their biological parents 

Psychology - In Norway and Sweden, where same sex partnerships have been sanctioned for 20 years, male partnerships are 50% more likely and female ones 167% more likely to break up in their first five years than heterosexual marriages. This alone calls into question the comparability of heterosexual and same-sex relationships.

Theology - Jesus taught that "...a man shall leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. They are no longer two but one. What God has put together, let no man put asunder." (Mark 10:7-9)

Our children matter most. All the factors above show the healthiest possible environment to give them the greatest likelihood of wholeness and success.

Join me at Atlanta's next Stand Up for Religious Liberty rally on Friday, June 22 at 7:00PM at Marist School’s football stadium. The keynote speaker will be Archbishop Wilton Gregory of Atlanta.

The Stand Up for Religious Liberty rallies have spontaneously arisen across America in response to a number of assaults on the first freedom enshrined in the U.S. Constitution's Bill of Rights: Freedom of Religion. For example, the Department of Justice has taken on Christian schools and their right to determine the religious compatibility of those whom they will employ (thankfully, the DOJ lost 9-0 at the Supreme Court on this case). Next, the Department of Health and Human Services have unilaterally at the hands of a single bureaucrat imposed a requirement for religious groups who oppose sterilizations, aborti-facient drugs, and contraception to be required to pay for and provide such procedures for their employees (this will likely end up in the Supreme Court as well).

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."

To be a vocal proponent for freedom of religion and for the separation of Church and State, feel free to check out the rallies listed here. And join me in Atlanta on June 22.

To become a part of the movement in Atlanta, send an email to Religious Freedom Atlanta at religiousfreedomatlanta@comcast.net

Now that the nation seems obsessed with creating a new category called Same Sex Marriage, whatever that is, it is good to have facts and real data. Much of the conversation now is based on feelings rather than on reason or science. 

Here's a good article that gathers lots of the actual studies regarding homosexuality to provide some substance to the debate as we debate what marriage actually is and whether homosexual behavior is "normal" or "sinful." 

Thank you for your recommendations for summer reading. Hundreds of you responded via email and on Facebook. Wonderful stuff!

In an ambitious move, I am taking 5 books with me on vacation, all recommended by you. A number of you asked for the list ahead of time, so here it is. I will post reviews when I return - of as many of these as I can read while not turning vacation into work!

Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy (recommended by EC, Sarah, and Franklin)

The Last Great Game by Gene Wojciechowski (recommended by Mark)

The Noticer by Andy Andrews (recommended by Kay)

Bloodlands by Timothy Snyder (recommended by Wheeler and Tom)

20 Love Poems and a Song of Despair by Pabo Neruda (recommended by Chris, the wildcard of all wildcards, poetry!)

Check out the photos from our motorcycle rally to benefit the severely abused children at the Murphy Harpst Children's center. I posted them on my Facebook show fan page here.

Great piece by Charles Wheelan at the WSJ today. I've taken the liberty of shortening it just a bit. Numbers 7 and 9 are truth bombs!

Here is what I wish someone had told me at graduation:

1. Your time in fraternity basements was well spent.

The same goes for the time you spent playing intramural sports, working on the school newspaper or just hanging with friends. Research tells us that one of the most important causal factors associated with happiness and well-being is your meaningful connections with other human beings. Look around today. Certainly one benchmark of your postgraduation success should be how many of these people are still your close friends in 10 or 20 years.

2. Some of your worst days lie ahead. Graduation is a happy day. But my job is to tell you that if you are going to do anything worthwhile, you will face periods of grinding self-doubt and failure. Be prepared to work through them. I'll spare you my personal details, other than to say that one year after college graduation I had no job, less than $500 in assets, and I was living with an elderly retired couple. The only difference between when I graduated and today is that now no one can afford to retire.

3. Don't make the world worse. I know that I'm supposed to tell you to aspire to great things. But I'm going to lower the bar here: Just don't use your prodigious talents to mess things up. Too many smart people are doing that already. And if you really want to cause social mayhem, it helps to have an Ivy League degree. You are smart and motivated and creative. Everyone will tell you that you can change the world. They are right, but remember that "changing the world" also can include things like skirting financial regulations and selling unhealthy foods to increasingly obese children. I am not asking you to cure cancer. I am just asking you not to spread it.

4. Marry someone smarter than you are. When I was getting a Ph.D., my wife Leah had a steady income. When she wanted to start a software company, I had a job with health benefits. (To clarify, having a "spouse with benefits" is different from having a "friend with benefits.") You will do better in life if you have a second economic oar in the water. I also want to alert you to the fact that commencement is like shooting smart fish in a barrel. The Phi Beta Kappa members will have pink-and-blue ribbons on their gowns. The summa cum laude graduates have their names printed in the program. Seize the opportunity!

5. Help stop the Little League arms race. Kids' sports are becoming ridiculously structured and competitive. What happened to playing baseball because it's fun? We are systematically creating races out of things that ought to be a journey. We know that success isn't about simply running faster than everyone else in some predetermined direction. Yet the message we are sending from birth is that if you don't make the traveling soccer team or get into the "right" school, then you will somehow finish life with fewer points than everyone else. That's not right. You'll never read the following obituary: "Bob Smith died yesterday at the age of 74. He finished life in 186th place."

6. Read obituaries. They are just like biographies, only shorter. They remind us that interesting, successful people rarely lead orderly, linear lives.

7. Your parents don't want what is best for you. They want what is good for you, which isn't always the same thing. There is a natural instinct to protect our children from risk and discomfort, and therefore to urge safe choices. Theodore Roosevelt—soldier, explorer, president—once remarked, "It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed." Great quote, but I am willing to bet that Teddy's mother wanted him to be a doctor or a lawyer.

8. Don't model your life after a circus animal. Performing animals do tricks because their trainers throw them peanuts or small fish for doing so. You should aspire to do better. You will be a friend, a parent, a coach, an employee—and so on. But only in your job will you be explicitly evaluated and rewarded for your performance. Don't let your life decisions be distorted by the fact that your boss is the only one tossing you peanuts. If you leave a work task undone in order to meet a friend for dinner, then you are "shirking" your work. But it's also true that if you cancel dinner to finish your work, then you are shirking your friendship. That's just not how we usually think of it.

9. It's all borrowed time. You shouldn't take anything for granted, not even tomorrow. I offer you the "hit by a bus" rule. Would I regret spending my life this way if I were to get hit by a bus next week or next year? And the important corollary: Does this path lead to a life I will be happy with and proud of in 10 or 20 years if I don't get hit by a bus.

10. Don't try to be great. Being great involves luck and other circumstances beyond your control. The less you think about being great, the more likely it is to happen. And if it doesn't, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being solid.

Good luck and congratulations.

Many thanks to you for helping as we generated more than $17,000 to serve the children at the Murphy Harpst children's center. Our motorcycle rally provided tremendous fun not only for those of us who participated and gave, but also for the children at Murphy Harpst who were blessed by all the fun, attention, and interest in their lives.

Photos will be posted soon from the day - I have so many that I am trying to pick the best 20 or so to share here. Please check back soon for those.

In the meantime, let me share about a young man named "Chase". This week, Chase will be discharged, and one of the discharge gifts that Murphy Harpst shares with kids is a dog tag that reads "All things are possible for him who believes" (Mark 9:23). The team at Murphy Harpst talked about his new life with a family that plans to adopt Chase. What a remarkable contrast is their love to the unspeakable abuse he knew prior to coming to Murphy Harpst.

Chase is the kind of boy you cannot help but love. He is 13, handsome, athletic, sharp, outgoing, and he believes he can thrive in life. His dog tag will be a reminder that he is living a life of promise and that he has already accomplished a lot at Murphy Harpst in repairing his life. As the director at Murphy Harpst spoke to Chase and his new mom about his starting school after spring break, his mom said to him, "All my children go to college!" Moms are great. Chase will be blessed.

Thank you for making this life-giving ministry of hope possible. Chase's life will never be the same.

The time is near. I need your wisdom. What is the best book you've read this year?

My family and I will be going on vacation in a few weeks, and I am looking to take three excellent books with me. Last year you responded with great recommendations, and I actually had time to read six of your suggestions.

I am looking for suggestions in three areas:

1) Fiction - I love good novels. Bring your best recommendation on!

2) Business/Leadership - The Dream Manager is the best one I've read the last few years. What recent book has been powerful for you?

3) Wild Card - This area could include faith, science, bio, history, or something else that you found helpful.

You always give me good wisdom, so I look forward to hearing from you with your recommendations. After the vacation, I will share the results and my reviews of the books I chose. 

Thank you. You are the BEST!

 

My show will tag team with WSB TV tonight to discuss social media, parenting, and kids. As part of that conversation, here are some starting points from several experts for parents in guiding their kids' use of Facebook.

5 Facebook rules for Parents and Kids

Similar guidelines apply to other social networking sites. This can be a starting point for discussing Facebook with your teen.

1. General comments

Facebook has a wide range of privacy settings available, and in general you want all the privacy you can get. Most of the horror stories about social networking involve kids making information public and/or making contact with strangers. The rules below are generally designed to avoid all contact with strangers. The key concept is to use Facebook only to interact with real personal friends.

Consider the following statement from the official Facebook terms:

We recommend that minors over the age of 13 ask their parents for permission before sending any information about themselves to anyone over the Internet.

Children under 13 are forbidden from using Facebook entirely. That should apply to your children as well.

For children over 13, set some time usage limits on the computer each day. This will help to ensure that your child does not get overly attached to the cyber-friendship world of Facebook and also will help them develop into whole, healthy human beings with lots of interests outside social media.

2. Privacy settings

All your privacy settings in general should be set to "only my friends" or "no one". Check these pages occasionally to make sure nothing has changed. Note there are several privacy pages, and you need to check them all. Dangers from predators or other types of harassment go up significantly when your profile is public.

• Who can find me in search: Only my friends or people in my network. Consider leaving this on "only my friends" except when you are trying to link up with a new friend who needs to search for you.

3. Friends

• One of your parents has a Facebook page and is your friend. This allows your parents to monitor what you do on facebook.
• Only people who are true friends in real life can be your friends in Facebook (friends of friends don't count unless they are already a personal friend to you too).
• Assuming you will have to say no to some friend requests, think ahead about how you can kindly turn down these requests. Also, think about the possible awkwardness of removing someone from your friend list, and don't add lots of friends casually.

4. Places you go

• Don't visit profiles of anyone except your friends. Facebook is for keeping up with your friends, not for browsing profiles of people who are not your friends. This includes friends of friends.

5. Other

• Your parents need to know your facebook password. They need to log in as you occasionally to understand how Facebook looks from your point of view.
• Your parents agree not to change or make posts on your facebook page.This can be very embarrassing and defeats the purpose of Facebook. They access it for monitoring only, unless of course you post something really inappropriate.
• You agree that if you misuse facebook, your parents can disable your facebook account.

I think I just stayed in a No-tell Motel. I've been travelling this week, mostly in Chicago, and I am not very familiar with this area. So I booked an economical room online at a "hotel" that got good reviews.

When I arrived, they said I could not check in before 5:00. If I wanted to do so, it would be $15 per hour. Same hourly rate if I wanted to stay any later on check-out day too.

Upon entering the room, I noticed two things I usually do not see on business travel. Mirrors for three of the four walls. And an ocean-sized whirpool right in the middle of the room where usually there would be furniture. Also, the only refreshment offered at the "hotel" was wine by the bottle. Strange?

I made it safely through the evening (amen). But I learned yet again, that when you do not know where you're going, you can land yourself in some uncomfortable places. It's true geographically and it's true spiritually. Always best to have a destination in mind.

Have a great week!