Coming Clean

Celebrate Recovery: We’re only as sick as our secrets Thanks to Rick Warren
Mount Pisgah Allen R. Hunt 5/7/06 Ps. 32.1-2
Message 3: Confession and Coming Clean

I. In series called Celebrate Recovery – how to handle hurts, habits and hangups messing up your life – problems causing difficulty, memories can’t let go of
First week we looked at R.E.C.O.V.E.R.Y.
R: Reality (I am not God. I need help.)
E: Earnestly Believe (Hope: God exists and He has the power to help me.)

Last week Betsy talked about
C: Commitment (Consciously choose to turn to God)

This week- look at cleaning up the past, letting go of guilt, gaining a clear conscience, learning to live guilt free and way God intends us to live
O. Openly Examine and Confess my faults to myself, God, and to Someone I trust. (Housekeeping)

1Our God, you bless everyone whose sins you forgive and wipe away.
2You bless them by saying,
“You told me your sins, without trying to hide them, and now I forgive you.” (Psalm 32.1-2 CEV)
Why is this step part of the recovery process?
Because guilt keeps us from growing – from growing into who God wants us to be
If going to really enjoy life – gonna have to learn to let go of guilt
Because none of us is perfect - all have sins, regrets, mistakes, remorse
Things we wish we could turn back the clock – but you can’t
So you carry it with you – feel guilty about it, bad about it
Sometimes consciously, mostly unconsciously – things you are not even aware of, feel bad about – deny guilt, repress it, blame others for it
If gonna really recover from hurts, habits and hangups – have to learn to let go, live with a clear conscience
I. Reasons for this step: What Guilt does to you

A) Guilt keeps you stuck in the past
People who cover over their sins will not prosper. But if they confess and forsake them, they will receive mercy (Prov. 28.13: NLT)
Living in the past is like driving always looking in the rear view mirror
You are going to crash if you do that
Helpful to look back – now and then
Gives perspective – but can’t live there
And if you are always looking in rear view mirror, can’t move forward, can’t change
Keep replaying over and over what might have been
And it can stunt your life
I was leading a SS class in another church in another state
When I asked the group if they had ever had a mountain top experience
One mentioned beach, another youth camp, another singing in a gospel choir
Older woman, “Millie,” gently raised her hand – said did not want to add tinge of sadness
But shared how she and her parents and children had left the state to go to Florida to help her get a divorce from her abusive alcoholic husband
Riding in a car, mom, dad, Millie, 4 year old son, and 11 month old daughter
Struck head on – by drunk driver at 95 mph
Millie woke up in hospital – told her parents and her children had all been killed
Paralyzed – thought she would never walk again – yet did
Several yars later – still trying to cope – went to gravesite on anniversary
Bright light nearly blinded her as she stood there – looked at watch – exact time of wreck
This was her mountain top experience
Tell you this – because not long after that class, we went to her house for dinner
Lived alone, small bungalow home, fastidiously kept – everything in its place
As we visited, I began to notice that everything in her house was from 1958 – everything
Photos, appliances, furniture, everything
When I asked, she confirmed that she had not changed anything at all since then
In her grief, she had never been able to move on – never move past that day in 1958
Wonderful woman – doing best she could just to get by – but her life had stopped
Regret, pain, guilt – stuck in the past

B) Guilt destroys relationships
Guilt causes to respond to people in wrong ways – can make me impatient with people
Can cause me to overreact with anger
Guilt can cause you to spoil people, indulge them – lot of parents do that
Cause intimacy problems – why can’t I get close to someone or allow others close to me
Usually, one answer is guilt

C) Guilt damages confidence
Cannot be a confident person with guilt in your life
Always worried – What if they find out? What if they reject me?
Like a cloud hanging over your head – carrying a heavy weight of guilt

So you and I have to know how to handle guilt

II. How to take the 4th Step to Healing
Step is simple – just takes a lot of courage

A) Take a personal moral inventory (Lam 3.40; Ps. 148.23-24)
Let us examine our ways and test them,
and let us return to the LORD (Lam. 3.40:NIV)
Get by yourself – pen and paper
Ask self – “What is wrong with me? What have I ever felt guilty about? What have I regretted? What are the faults in my life that need changing?”
Ask God to bring those things to mind – the regrets that are messing up your life
Now this takes time – sit before the Lord and just listen to what He calls to mind
I do this a lot to be honest – try to make it a regular habit
But you have to be ruthlessly honest with yourself
Have to be specific – otherwise you will gloss over – lump all messups into one
Have to write them down
B) Accept responsibility for my faults (Prov. 20.27; 1John 1.8)
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us
(1Jn 1.8:NIV)
The greatest holdup to my healing is me
Don’t rationalize – “Everybody does it”
Don’t minimize –“Not that big of a deal”
Don’t blame others – “It was really her fault”
If really want to stop defeating myself – got to stop deceiving myself
My biggest problem is I keep getting in my own way

SUSAN M – LIVE
UGa – drinking issue
DUI 1 – blacked out, awoke angry
DUI 2 – Jail time
Arrival at jail – casual – shock – strip – shackles – “Fresh meat” – horror
“Why am I here?” – moment of truth
Bible study invitation from another inmate
Accept responsibility
Then told HR – came clean – revealed her secret

C) Ask God for forgiveness (1John 1.9; Isa. 1.19)
“No matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can remove it. I can make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you as white as wool.” (Isa 1.19: NLT)
No matter how deep the stain – God can remove it
God is utterly reliable – forgiveness is based on His character not yours
No begging, no bargaining, no bribing
Just believing – Lord, you have said, confess, and I am
Now, I have to tell you as a pastor – I have heard it all
There is no sin, no regret that is outside the bounds of God’s capacity to forgive
You have a hard time believing that
But your character is not that of God’s – the deepest stain – God can remove it

D) Admit your faults to another person (James 5.16)
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. (James 5.16: NIV)
Look at James 5.16 – wow
Admitting out loud to another believer is absolutely essential for your healing, recovery
Why? Because we like to deceive ourselves, we like to pretend in front of other people, wear masks, pretend we have it all together – we don’t
Honesty
Second, something remarkably therapeutic about confessing out loud – Catholics figured this out much better than we Protestants – confession is healing
Not just to anyone – mature, confidential, forgiving spirit
I do this with my prayer partner Tommy – I trust him completely
When we are together each month – we do out loud something like an inventory
Remarkable healing grace occurs
And James even goes so far as to say – don’t do this, and you will get sick
Keeping all that stuff inside of you – will make you sick
We are only as sick as our secrets
So do it – as soon as possible – do not procrastinate
Crucial step – simple but takes courage

E) Accept God’s forgiveness and forgive myself (Rom. 3.23-24)
All of us have sinned – you are not special – your sins are not the unforgivable ones
All of us stand before God in need of grace
Problems are different to be sure – but we are all the same – sinners
And you need to hear something simple
God forgives
God forgives instantly
God forgives freely
God forgives completely
God forgives – accept it

F) Remember your baptism (Gal. 3.27; Rom. 6.11; Eph. 4.22-24)
Simple way to accept God’s forgiveness is to remember your baptism
When you were baptized, you put on new clothes – clothes of Jesus Christ
He washed away your sin – made you a part of His family
Gives you the invitation to bring your sins, regrets, deepest hurts to Him – will wash them away every time
So we are going to do just that today – remember your baptism

NEXT WEEK: Making Changes